Senile Sermon!
This is heartfelt reaction to a column in today’s HT by the very suave, the very liberal, the self proclaimed God of all things Alyque Padamsee. This is what he wrote.
CITY that once hosted Tamikointo aher hot tomato and striptease is now forcing us 1820s village culture.
If we want Bombay to be like Shanghai, our governing bodies had better wake up. Bombay is known as the city that never sleeps and yet we have the ridiculous closing down of pubs and restaurants at early hours and banning of dance bars and the latest ban on adult movies on TV. Is the government trying to turn Bombay into the Vatican City?! Wake up Mr Chief Minister, or you’ll find all the multinational businesses moving out of our prestigious city. Soon we’ll be left with only Slumbay.
When I was in college, we had a gala time visiting restaurants witch dancing till 4 am. Like Venice at the Airlines Hotel, Volga opposite Akbarally’s and half a dozen other lively joints. I specially remember the Mandarin restaurant opposite The Yacht Club where we watched Tamiko, the hot tomato striptease dance.
How sad that when Bombay changed to Mumbai, the joie de vivre of our city also changed.
Our politicians talk blithely about Bombay becoming an international city. They don’t even know how to spell ‘international’. Their values are steeped in 1820s village culture: “Women should know their place, bahus must cover their faces, bribery is the best policy!” A foreigner recently remarked, ‘Bombay is a First World city with a Third World government.’ The Bombay of my dreams will be like Amsterdam: 1. 24-hour licences for restaurants, pubs, discos, art galleries and all businesses. 2. Cinemas showing triple X films to those over 21 with strict enforcement. 3. Adult films on TV after 11 pm. 4. Dance bars to be reopened in designated areas away from residential localities. 5. Prostitution to be legalised but confined to certain designated localities and supervised by the health authorities (no pimps, no gharwalis (madams), no coercion). Vendors of child prostitution should be put behind bars. The government should collect income tax from professional sex workers. 6. Holding hands and kissing in public places should be allowed (like the kissing park in Calcutta). 7. Rape to be punished by life imprisonment.
The Bombay of my nightmares is where all females have to wear purdah and males have to be blindfolded!
See my reaction below if you d feel like!
Smart Alec has his own take on most things. Having fooled people into buying an inferior detergent for ages, he nows thinks that he can fool us into buying his views.
The column is called Talking Point. What an inappropriate name for a piece that deserves not even the bhelwala’s bundle.
The first line of his column is warning enough about what this senile south Mumbai symbol is seeking. Striptease may have been out past but it does not, to my mind, mean equation to Shanghai. If it does, am leaving tomorrow. Here goes
Dear Smart Alec,
Mumbai, abused as the city that never sleeps, does so for many more pertinent reasons than the ones you suggest. For one, many don’t have shelter, there are many more who have no choice but to work nights (and days too). Dance bars service a minority and frankly this city couldn’t care less about whether someone like u threw money at Reshma or Ruby or not.
The other point that you mention, is about multinationals leaving the city. If dance bars and sleaze joints are the only reason why the stayed then too bad that we couldn’t keep them here. Shanghai might just be the best bet. Meanwhile, in my opinion, the more sensible multinationals see a better side to Mumbai, which your creed, who call themselves Mumbaikars probably don’t.
Your college life was colorful, Eastman color probably. Being out till 4am and watching striptease was probably the high point of your illustrious career. I’d rather want to hear about Ramu who wakes up about the time when u hit the sack so that he can deliver milk and newspaper and fend for his ‘Slumbay’ family. Ramu by the way delivers to your doorstep too, all of course, while u are sleeping (with. ….).
Bombay’s name change was effected by someone as pseudo as you, probably doning different colors and speaking a different language that’s all.
My comments on your suggestions
1. 24-hour licences for restaurants, pubs, discos, art galleries and all businesses.
We see the meaning of all businesses as we read further
2. Cinemas showing triple X films to those over 21 with strict enforcement.
What will that strict enforcement be like sir, a new flick every week or will the Box seats have enough room for some ‘action’ as you watch?
3. Adult films on TV after 11 pm.
How innocuous coming from someone like you, was surprised that you didn’t recommend triple X movies on TV all the time
4. Dance bars to be reopened in designated areas away from residential localities.
How bout terraces of buildings being used for this, given that we don’t have too much space left in the city!
5. Prostitution to be legalised but confined to certain designated localities and supervised by the health authorities (no pimps, no gharwalis (madams), no coercion).
Right now these designated localities are also called Page 3 parties!
Vendors of child prostitution should be put behind bars.
Nice pun sir ‘behind bars’ So that they can get drunk and screw some more kids!
The government should collect income tax from professional sex workers.
So that the tobacco chewing IT officer Mr Patil can screw her and her happiness whenever he feels like
6. Holding hands and kissing in public places should be allowed (like the kissing park in Calcutta).
That’s all Mr Padamsee?, you sure you don’t want more action for the ubiquitous voyeur like the ones at bandstand?? Or even the more refined ones like you!
7. Rape to be punished by life imprisonment
You’ll be behind bars sir, you’ve raped the city enough
CITY that once hosted Tamikointo aher hot tomato and striptease is now forcing us 1820s village culture.
If we want Bombay to be like Shanghai, our governing bodies had better wake up. Bombay is known as the city that never sleeps and yet we have the ridiculous closing down of pubs and restaurants at early hours and banning of dance bars and the latest ban on adult movies on TV. Is the government trying to turn Bombay into the Vatican City?! Wake up Mr Chief Minister, or you’ll find all the multinational businesses moving out of our prestigious city. Soon we’ll be left with only Slumbay.
When I was in college, we had a gala time visiting restaurants witch dancing till 4 am. Like Venice at the Airlines Hotel, Volga opposite Akbarally’s and half a dozen other lively joints. I specially remember the Mandarin restaurant opposite The Yacht Club where we watched Tamiko, the hot tomato striptease dance.
How sad that when Bombay changed to Mumbai, the joie de vivre of our city also changed.
Our politicians talk blithely about Bombay becoming an international city. They don’t even know how to spell ‘international’. Their values are steeped in 1820s village culture: “Women should know their place, bahus must cover their faces, bribery is the best policy!” A foreigner recently remarked, ‘Bombay is a First World city with a Third World government.’ The Bombay of my dreams will be like Amsterdam: 1. 24-hour licences for restaurants, pubs, discos, art galleries and all businesses. 2. Cinemas showing triple X films to those over 21 with strict enforcement. 3. Adult films on TV after 11 pm. 4. Dance bars to be reopened in designated areas away from residential localities. 5. Prostitution to be legalised but confined to certain designated localities and supervised by the health authorities (no pimps, no gharwalis (madams), no coercion). Vendors of child prostitution should be put behind bars. The government should collect income tax from professional sex workers. 6. Holding hands and kissing in public places should be allowed (like the kissing park in Calcutta). 7. Rape to be punished by life imprisonment.
The Bombay of my nightmares is where all females have to wear purdah and males have to be blindfolded!
See my reaction below if you d feel like!
Smart Alec has his own take on most things. Having fooled people into buying an inferior detergent for ages, he nows thinks that he can fool us into buying his views.
The column is called Talking Point. What an inappropriate name for a piece that deserves not even the bhelwala’s bundle.
The first line of his column is warning enough about what this senile south Mumbai symbol is seeking. Striptease may have been out past but it does not, to my mind, mean equation to Shanghai. If it does, am leaving tomorrow. Here goes
Dear Smart Alec,
Mumbai, abused as the city that never sleeps, does so for many more pertinent reasons than the ones you suggest. For one, many don’t have shelter, there are many more who have no choice but to work nights (and days too). Dance bars service a minority and frankly this city couldn’t care less about whether someone like u threw money at Reshma or Ruby or not.
The other point that you mention, is about multinationals leaving the city. If dance bars and sleaze joints are the only reason why the stayed then too bad that we couldn’t keep them here. Shanghai might just be the best bet. Meanwhile, in my opinion, the more sensible multinationals see a better side to Mumbai, which your creed, who call themselves Mumbaikars probably don’t.
Your college life was colorful, Eastman color probably. Being out till 4am and watching striptease was probably the high point of your illustrious career. I’d rather want to hear about Ramu who wakes up about the time when u hit the sack so that he can deliver milk and newspaper and fend for his ‘Slumbay’ family. Ramu by the way delivers to your doorstep too, all of course, while u are sleeping (with. ….).
Bombay’s name change was effected by someone as pseudo as you, probably doning different colors and speaking a different language that’s all.
My comments on your suggestions
1. 24-hour licences for restaurants, pubs, discos, art galleries and all businesses.
We see the meaning of all businesses as we read further
2. Cinemas showing triple X films to those over 21 with strict enforcement.
What will that strict enforcement be like sir, a new flick every week or will the Box seats have enough room for some ‘action’ as you watch?
3. Adult films on TV after 11 pm.
How innocuous coming from someone like you, was surprised that you didn’t recommend triple X movies on TV all the time
4. Dance bars to be reopened in designated areas away from residential localities.
How bout terraces of buildings being used for this, given that we don’t have too much space left in the city!
5. Prostitution to be legalised but confined to certain designated localities and supervised by the health authorities (no pimps, no gharwalis (madams), no coercion).
Right now these designated localities are also called Page 3 parties!
Vendors of child prostitution should be put behind bars.
Nice pun sir ‘behind bars’ So that they can get drunk and screw some more kids!
The government should collect income tax from professional sex workers.
So that the tobacco chewing IT officer Mr Patil can screw her and her happiness whenever he feels like
6. Holding hands and kissing in public places should be allowed (like the kissing park in Calcutta).
That’s all Mr Padamsee?, you sure you don’t want more action for the ubiquitous voyeur like the ones at bandstand?? Or even the more refined ones like you!
7. Rape to be punished by life imprisonment
You’ll be behind bars sir, you’ve raped the city enough
Comments
he even fell short with the rape punishment. i would say castration or death.
btw, was he writing only about the glamour aspect?
else, unbelievable - these people...which world are they living in!?
if they want to make it Shanghai...then please first repair roads, do something about mass transport services, allow grieving people to collect their bodies from morgues without paying a bribe, etc. etc. etc
i mean issues like corruption, eve-teasing and the rest just don't seem important to these people. All they want is bars to be open 24 hours!