Embracing the Steve Smith in Us

I felt the same intense anger that cricket fans all over felt when I learnt about the ball tampering incident. After the “brain fade” in India, Steve Smith did not leave much love on the table. We always knew he was not the most honest guy around.

And then on Thursday, he broke down at the Press conference. Those tears were real. One felt sorry.

Which Steve Smith is the real Steve Smith- the one who cheated or the one who cried and repented? Both.

In my last blog I wrote about how narrow definitions of growth confine and stifle us into spaces that we don’t necessarily enjoy but end up being in. While doing so we suppress and submerge those parts of ourselves which are truly ourselves- our core selves which make us feel truly alive.

Steve Smith was probably caught in such a place- the part of him that wanted success at all costs and could not take failure was dominant and active. Infact it was the dominant part that put on Whites and walked on to the field. This was the part that played hard cricket, competed down to the last run and set high standards, all desirable traits. This part spurred him on from being spinner and part time batsman to a top Order batsman and world champion . But, this is also the part that said “win at any cost”, “can’t afford to lose come what may”. This is the part that led to the brain fade, and now tampering. It killed him in the end.

The part that emerged at the press conference and cried was his purer self- the boy who played the game for joy, the boy who grew up wanting to wear the baggy green and represent Australia, the honest, well meaning hardworking young man who loved the game and played it for the love of the game. All of us who have played any sport will know this part. Where just being on the maidan or field is enough, where the blazing sun or the bleeding leg don’t matter, where running in to celebrate a wicket is the most beautiful thing on earth and where you respect the game and those who play it. Where the spirit triumphs the outcome, where how to play is as important if not more than who wins.

In the frenzy to win, to succeed, Steve Smith submerged this part deep within himself, its feeble voice drowned out by the sound of sandpaper against leather.

We have both Steve Smiths in all of us- with similar tussles and struggles. How we balance the pusher and achiever with the one who lends sanity, balance and anchors in a value system will determine if we end up living a journey possibly with fewer wins but with a lot more achievement and inspiration or end up crying at a Press conference.