Make-out Mela

I was at Bandra Bandstand yesterday after a long long time. Nice to see that It retains its defining characteristic of land on one side, sea on the other and couples making out in between the two. In line with the growing economy and India shining, the boldness quotient of couples also seems to be going up. For Non Mumbaikars and the uninitiated let me give you both sides of the story.

Then
(before India Shining, Bofors, during pouted PV as PM times, when Sachin was still slogging and we still had empty trains in non peak hours)

Couples made out behind rocks. And making out would mean smooching kissing n doing that over n over again simply but cos one can’t do much else. The guy would be the aggressor and the woman the ‘slightly embarrassed but not wanting to let go of the fun’ receiver. There was the constant watch of ‘innocent’ bystanders and greedy cops who sometimes had to be bribed by the hour. The innocent bystanders used to be there just to learn the act and understand what to do when they landed girl friends of their own. Most couples would be conscious and would face the sea and sit so all that passers by could see was intertwined behinds. There also was the threat of eunuchs who by design could empathize with what the girl feels and also what the boy does. This was the easiest money spinning option for them and men usually donate more when their testosterone is running high. Occasionally one would also hear of complaints from regular walkers on the promenade who felt that there was too much obscenity. Rarely there would be reports of crimes of passion. Overall it was understood that if one had to get cosy at cheap rates (and in cheap ways) bandstand was the address to go to

Now:
The promenade for one has been beautified. In line with wanting to be like Shanghai its better lit, tiled and has neat benches. Couples have been washed ashore hence and some can be seen getting cosy right there on land. Women have taken up aggressor roles and have been seen to be smothering guys with equal aplomb. The on the rocks variety is still at it, the change being that they don’t necessarily face the Middle East and do it. They’re staring at you in the eye. The kind of stuff that gets done is not limted to smooching n coochie cooing. Eye withness reports from ‘innocent’ bystanders claim to have seen more. Cops apparently still make money, much more given the consistent GDP growth of 8%. The density of couples, broadly defined as number of couples per sq km is also higher, much higher. So you could have symmetrically place strangers necking their own partners or sharing the same rock. That’s probably due to lesser number of rocks too but overall it looked more crowded. The profile of people making out also seems to have gone up a notch or maybe the earlier ones got better jobs or something.

I like the fact we have a public space that has defined itself in this manner. As real estate gets crazy driven by imaginary prices, public spaces are constantly under threat. Parks, Walkways, gardens are all coming under the hammer. Everyone wants to pay a premium to get space to live, so what if there’s no space to breathe. No wonder then that couples take to the sea to make out. May the tribe grow.