The BEST driver psyche n some gems from the BEST website!
I have always looked at this with a mix of awe, marvel and sheer abhorrence.
There is something about the guy behind the wheel that is worth marveling about and let me tell you why. Most roads in Mumbai are after thoughts. They were wrestled out of what remained after everyone had grabbed their piece of the land action. In such after thoughts where fresh air is at a premium and parallel lines coincide, getting a full blown BEST bus to even move to move is an art, to say the least. It takes immense patience when every possible animal, man, woman and child would want to cross the road before the bus passes them by. Then there is the ubiquitous rick wallah whose ability to move 360 in the same spot is a gift from the powers that be. Last but not the least there is the hawker whose prime objective in life seems to be to take as much of the main street to himself.
Now for the abhorrence bit. A secret not yet revealed part of the BEST training to its drivers in about how to intimidate everyone around you while on the road. While I have not been to this training I have done some observation research that will help us shed some light here
1. Autos are like flies in your path. Keep swatting them away. Just like swatting a fly never kills it, and even if it does, there are a lot of them out there anyways, who’ll notice!
2. Pedestrians are just that, pedestrians. They can be crushed into moving into any space, even where there’s none.
3. When someone who wants to disembark apply brakes so that he/ she has to cling onto dear life. Makes them more respectful towards you
4. Never stop for that guy who’s coming running just as you leave the stop. He deserves to be ignored and sent to hell. How can he assume that you will stop and what the hell. Stop doesn’t mean stop forever? If possible also splash water from the nearby puddle while you pass him by. Serves the bugger right!
5. Private vehicles of all sorts, especially the good looking cars will always be faster than you. The only way that you can stop them from doing so is by being on the fastest lane and driving as slowly as possible.
6. You are born with the right to cut lanes with just a casual arm if anything indicating broadly the direction you’re going in
The significance of point no 6 is immense. Apparently a BEST driver is fined only, ONLY if the front of the bus is damaged in an accident. Those from Mumbai can easily related to the BEST grazing past ur fresh paint while in a car.
Gems from the BEST website- as said there (my comments in Italics)
The common citizen of Mumbai is obviously not aware of many surprising features of the BEST's Bus Service. Just to state a few examples :
Bus Route No. 166 - plies on roads interconnecting maximum Hospitals. (Has this got to do with people searching hospital after hospital for bodies of relatives after the blasts???? Why the hell would one want to cover ALL hospitals in one go)
Bus Route No. 161 - This route covers on the way maximum Oil Reservoirs and unpopulated areas in Eastern wings of the city. (Whoa I didn’t know that Oil traveled too and wats with the unpopulated stretch, ghost travel is it?)
Bus Route No. 9 - A network of large number of school and colleges is interwoven by this route. (Not wasting words Same comments as above)
Bus Route No. 320, 22ltd., 25ltd. - These routes have an outstanding feature of connecting two largest water reservoirs of the city. (Now we know……the project to interconnect rivers is already on!!!)
Bus Route No. 1,66,202 - Round the clock operating bus routes. (Finally some sense here!)
This is the first step in our endeavor of revealing this information regarding our Bus Service (bus shervheece in a local accent) through the Internet.
There is something about the guy behind the wheel that is worth marveling about and let me tell you why. Most roads in Mumbai are after thoughts. They were wrestled out of what remained after everyone had grabbed their piece of the land action. In such after thoughts where fresh air is at a premium and parallel lines coincide, getting a full blown BEST bus to even move to move is an art, to say the least. It takes immense patience when every possible animal, man, woman and child would want to cross the road before the bus passes them by. Then there is the ubiquitous rick wallah whose ability to move 360 in the same spot is a gift from the powers that be. Last but not the least there is the hawker whose prime objective in life seems to be to take as much of the main street to himself.
Now for the abhorrence bit. A secret not yet revealed part of the BEST training to its drivers in about how to intimidate everyone around you while on the road. While I have not been to this training I have done some observation research that will help us shed some light here
1. Autos are like flies in your path. Keep swatting them away. Just like swatting a fly never kills it, and even if it does, there are a lot of them out there anyways, who’ll notice!
2. Pedestrians are just that, pedestrians. They can be crushed into moving into any space, even where there’s none.
3. When someone who wants to disembark apply brakes so that he/ she has to cling onto dear life. Makes them more respectful towards you
4. Never stop for that guy who’s coming running just as you leave the stop. He deserves to be ignored and sent to hell. How can he assume that you will stop and what the hell. Stop doesn’t mean stop forever? If possible also splash water from the nearby puddle while you pass him by. Serves the bugger right!
5. Private vehicles of all sorts, especially the good looking cars will always be faster than you. The only way that you can stop them from doing so is by being on the fastest lane and driving as slowly as possible.
6. You are born with the right to cut lanes with just a casual arm if anything indicating broadly the direction you’re going in
The significance of point no 6 is immense. Apparently a BEST driver is fined only, ONLY if the front of the bus is damaged in an accident. Those from Mumbai can easily related to the BEST grazing past ur fresh paint while in a car.
Gems from the BEST website- as said there (my comments in Italics)
The common citizen of Mumbai is obviously not aware of many surprising features of the BEST's Bus Service. Just to state a few examples :
Bus Route No. 166 - plies on roads interconnecting maximum Hospitals. (Has this got to do with people searching hospital after hospital for bodies of relatives after the blasts???? Why the hell would one want to cover ALL hospitals in one go)
Bus Route No. 161 - This route covers on the way maximum Oil Reservoirs and unpopulated areas in Eastern wings of the city. (Whoa I didn’t know that Oil traveled too and wats with the unpopulated stretch, ghost travel is it?)
Bus Route No. 9 - A network of large number of school and colleges is interwoven by this route. (Not wasting words Same comments as above)
Bus Route No. 320, 22ltd., 25ltd. - These routes have an outstanding feature of connecting two largest water reservoirs of the city. (Now we know……the project to interconnect rivers is already on!!!)
Bus Route No. 1,66,202 - Round the clock operating bus routes. (Finally some sense here!)
This is the first step in our endeavor of revealing this information regarding our Bus Service (bus shervheece in a local accent) through the Internet.
Comments
and what was that "endeavor of *revealing* this information"...