Ajith Nair

This one is one from the archives...but given that we love to hate this tiny neighbouring country that we created (esp after what they did to us in the World Cup), here's a piece from my mail archives on a rather unsavoury experience that I had on board the Bangla national airline (yes it does exist and yes it also flies) well for starters, i was booked on a biman- which for the uninitiated happens to be bangladesh's national airline.....now we know where half of their GDP goes, its in maintaining a fleet of two or maybe three aircraft.... well i entered dubai airport at 10pm for a 12.30 am flight.....hoping to have a real comfortable flight back home where i could catch at least thirty five winks if not forty.... after a detailed search on google and every other search engine possible, including some hostile Arabs, i discovered where the check-in line for Biman was....thank god....well i said it too early... it took me an hour and 45 minutes to get that piece of cardboard c...

Recently newspapers have been full of people who’ve died while on flights. Condolences. Having experienced most domestic airlines and what’s offered along with, I’m not surprised. Some examples of the agents of death as one travels 1. Food on Indian Airlines 2. Airhostesses on Indian Airlines- if their looks don’t kill you their glares will 3. Delays on Air Deccan- I just about celebrated two birthdays waiting for one to take off 4.The ‘suraksha niyam’ routine on all airlines- especially that phrase “agar kisi karanvash vimaan ko paani mein utarna pade” (now that’s what you call watering down the worst) 5. The endless wait at conveyor belts to collect one’s luggage even as everyone else seems to be getting theirs faster. 6. Security check and what goes with it- stashing everything into an already overloaded hand baggage and the latest one at Lucknow was about getting the laptop screened separately, not under the guise of a leather cover. The next thing you know they might ask you to pe...

Continuing my series of what happens to me in relation to airplanes, I have a gem to share. The wrestle of the arm rest can be quite irritating especially when both adversaries want it equally badly. The war of course is lost right at the beginning if one of the adversaries has an arm that's armrest size! My Chennai to Mumbai flight was spent in half a seat, with me folded up around an imaginary vertical axis, actually measuring kilometers to Mumbai and counting down time. I thought I was lucky to get a window seat, my luck ended the moment the middle seat next to me and half of my seat got occupied by a gargantuan who was impersonating a human being. Arm rest was the first casualty, I gave it up in the first 5 secs; my midriff also was being molested constantly by the elbow of the beast. Am not slightly built either but I know how to mark my territory out and contain my body within. Land grabbing was being rendered a new meaning by my sizable neigbour and I felt a bit like Papua N...

Have been living out of a suitcase and airplane for the last four days. Some fundamental questions need to be cleared before I can breathe easy. Be warned you might feel insulted by some of these as you might be guilty of some of these acts 1. I am 6ft tall almost. Am ogre like and hard to miss. Yet at airports gentlemen and not so gentle women pass through me to get to the counter as if I don’t exist. I was making way for the guy who was exiting and there you go, you had a fat Delhi bred Punju woman who had defied her ample self and occupied my rightful place at the check in counter. Now you know why Punjab is closest to the border. The whole state probably wrestled its way there. (Sorry for this rather emotional outburst!) 2. Have you seen the run for your lives scramble that happens when the flight boarding announcement takes place? I wonder whether the guys who queue up first at departure actually reach the destination earlier. 3. Anytime of the day or night, all air travelers have...