Ajith Nair

Air Force One avoided precisely four bird hits, and three misguided diwali rockets from Kurla to land on some loose sand and gravel at CSIA Mumbai. In a major security breach that could possibly embarrass all Indians and Americans alike, President Obama received a call on his BB even as he had just landed, offering to sell him Insurance, Auto Loans, Home Loans, personal loans and a car loan. Sensing it to be an Al Qaeda Trojan call, the Secret Service urged him to continue the call, while they put a quick trace on it. President Obama took the call from his secret chamber inside Air Force One even before he stepped out to wave and greet India. A brief transcript of the conversation is available exclusively with this newspaper and exclusively with 200 other newspapers too Telecaller (TC): Good morning, kya mein Barack Obama ji se baat kar sakti hoon? BO: WTF!!! Telecaller (TC): My apologies sir. Can I speak to Mr. Barack Obama? BO: Yes this is Barack Telecaller: Sir this is Sally calli...

In a strange turn of things, the President of the US, Barack Obama landed at an undisclosed location one day before schedule on Diwali Day and met with a host of undisclosed Indians in a show of solidarity. 1. Bal T: While Obama insisted on using a translator into Marathi, this meeting was short-lived because most expletives uttered by Bal T were beyond the comprehension of the interlocutor. It is reported that Bal T provided a one sentence suggestion to Barack O to get rid of the Taliban “Burn their taxis and beat them up and they will go back to where they came from” 2. Rakhi Sawant: In a special episode of Rakhi ka Insaaf called Raakhi ka Insaaf v/s Guantanamo Bay Rakhi taught the President and the CIA how to use verbal torture and killer looks to neutralize opponents. It is said that the President himself seemed absolutely awestruck by Ms Sawant’s candidness in laying it bare in more ways than one 3. Big Boss: In what could be called TV History, President Obama met the Big Boss in ...

The IPL is the biggest private party that anyone’s ever had in India. While we can debate who the host is, who’s serving drinks, who’s invited and gate crashing, the party is here to stay. It is a metaphor for the raunchiness that pervades a society’s mind that is coming to grips with its identity caught in the time warp between hallowed ideala and a materialistic identity. It’s about the collective subjecting itself to a sin, knowing in its conscience that this is wrong The layering makes the case very interesting. The nomenclature of the teams has an aggressive tone to it; battle cries adorn all their team songs. Every team has a either a glamorous owner or a ravishing ambassador, the late night parties being the story of legendary exploits of players off the field. There are skimpily clad cheerleaders, being treated as feminine objects, meant to prance about in a gladiatorial setting. Every inch of space, on the ground, in the mind has been sold, franchised commercialized labeled. R...

The ideology space in society is constantly shifting and changing. As we go global and create the Indian way of doing global things, the debate on what we are all about is hitting us, sometimes in a rather shallow manner. The idea that one can have multiple identities yet be an Indian, seems to put uncomfortable question marks on some faces, the numbers of these only increasing. Not to say that PLU (People like Us) have got it all right. Our ideology stems from conveniently shaping a world around us as we deem fit. So this might mean displacing farmers, getting rid of slums, marginalizing the poor and sanitizing the city. This might also mean thrusting upon society a model of progress that is marked by greater material gain, a wider global footprint and a more liberal outlook, as we see it. Our acceptance of alternate spaces, lifestyles, points of view is limited, and is paid lip service to in debate forums. Real data if measured might reveal that our understanding, empathy and drive t...

Three idiots was entertaining and thought provoking. It seemed easy to stand at the sidelines and label those who follow curriculum as boring. Conversely, it seemed fascinating that one day everyone would find their calling if they followed their hearts, and become inventors, artists, thinkers and geniuses. The world would become a great place to live in with everyone doing what they’re essentially good at. The problem with this chimera seems to be, how can one reliably know that this is it. How do we figure out that this is what we are made for and there isn’t anything better to do out there? The simple answer is one probably can't and this has its own perils. Look no further than Mumbai where a spate of suicides has taken place in the recent past by children who’ve been rejected by a system that suddenly seems to be thrusting children into all kinds of talent exploration. Some children have given up at not having won a talent contest or not having been selected for another. One c...